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13-17: Chart

Never, ever pitch.

By sanford_and_son
Texas Rangers v Seattle Mariners
whoopsadoodle
Photo by Stephen Brashear/Getty Images

Perfectly crisp shoestring fries with truffle salt: Robinson Cano .270 WPA

Greasy, lukewarm, floppy Dick’s fries: Danny Valencia -0.337 WPA

Enjoyability Factor: 1/10. Fuck outta here.

#Miles4RISP: 6 by my count. Run 6 hateful, self-loathing miles tomorrow (today).

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