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Spring Training Bingo

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The dog days of spring training are here, so here’s a game to play to amuse you now pipe down or I will turn this car around

The UK Enjoys The Warm Autumn Sun
it us, Seattleites at spring training
Photo by Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images

The Mariners play a spring training game today. Hooray! Apparently that off day was all I needed to make me miss these pajama men with their glistening foreheads, and forget about the utter snoozefest of the game on Sunday. Wait, now I’m remembering. and zzzzzzzzz. Sorry, I passed out there just thinking about that game. We’re into the home stretch of spring training, and patience is understandably wearing thin. So why not liven this party up with a little game of spring training bingo? You could play this if you had, say, a little meet-up to watch the night game on Tuesday or during the day on Saturday. Or you could play it alone in your apartment on a Wednesday morning because who am I to tell you how to live your best life. Below I’ve listed some spring training cliches; you can either stick them on your own bingo board and kill some time at work/have arts and crafts time, or, if you copy-paste them into the box on this site you can generate your own unique board with a fancy background and everything. Definitely use your work printer to print it. Feel free to throw your own ideas into the mix!

  • shot of Joshua Tree/desert flora (bonus points for a U2 mention)
  • mention of a pitcher’s new mechanics/grip
  • comment on a player’s outfit/hair
  • shots of coaching staff obviously disengaged from game/longing for a cool shower
  • drunk fan hollering on broadcast
  • late inning rally by players you’ve never heard of
  • dugout pranks
  • 3 errors in an inning
  • Player X, “who’s having a nice spring”
  • booth guest talks over game events
  • broadcasters misidentify a prospect
  • smug reference to Seattle weather
  • family on berm, parents clearly exhausted
  • gratuitous snow cone shot
  • Goldsmith makes a joke that goes over everyone’s head
  • long digression on broadcast that has nothing to do with the Mariners/baseball
  • broadcasters discuss food
  • Rizzs references something Goldsmith wasn’t alive for
  • Mike Blowers is Disappointed
  • terrible/obscured camera angle
  • Rizzs mentions Italy
  • Extended discussion of player who is not/was not/will never be a Mariner
  • Goldsmith barks his seal laugh
  • you promise yourself this is the last inning you’ll watch before you go do something productive (you do not do this, you watch the game to its bitter end)