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Mariners Photo Day 2017

All right, class, it’s photo day, so let’s roll out some superlatives

Seattle Mariners Photo Day
when the jokes are so bad you don’t want to hear them
Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

The Mariners had their annual photo shoot the other day and everyone looks so grown up and handsome and we know they will make us all very proud someday soon.

Here are a few of the best and brightest from the class of 2017.

Tuffy Gosewisch

Most likely to have time traveled to this photo shoot from the middle of an at-bat against Walter Johnson.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Kyle Seager

Most likely to be a good boy, who’s a good boy, you’re a good boy, yes you are.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Tony Zych

Most likely to have moonlighted as a pyro demolition expert in the Muppets universe.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Those eyes.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Dan Vogelbach

Most likely to accept your compliment on his egg white frittata while thinking to himself, “damn right it was delicious.”

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Ryan Weber

Most likely to actually be starring in a Disney movie titled “Kid Pitcher.”

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Carlos Ruiz

Most likely to accost a pitcher mid-mound visit for stealing his neck while he was sleeping.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Steve Cishek

Most likely to disappear when turned completely sideways. Also, most likely to have stolen an extra neck.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Hisashi Iwakuma

Dog proudest of the dead mouse he brought into the house, just for you.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Mel Stottlemyre

Most likely be slowly erased from the family photo in a Back to the Future movie.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

James Paxton

Most likely to be not mad at you, just disappointed.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Mike Freeman

Most likely to have a perfectly rehearsed elevator pitch for Ubeer, the beer-delivery app he and his buddy are developing.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Jonathan Aro

Most likely to be Picasso’s self-portrait wearing a beard necklace.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Ben Gamel

Most likely to be Shae Simmons with some extra hair pinned under his cap, trying to double his odds of making the 25-man.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Taylor Motter

Most likely to be mistaken for Ben Gamel.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Jean Segura

Most likely to bet you’re too chicken, huh? You won’t actually eat that, ya scaredy-cat, will you? Yeah, he knew it.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Nevin Ashley

Most likely to be happily married to his wife named “Ashley Ashley.” (Which is somehow a fact that we did not make up.)

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Scott Servais

Most likely to give you a stern talking-to and then send you to your room before going to the local pub and crushing a few brews with his buddies from the Coast Guard.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Edwin Diaz

Most likely to lend you a pencil but say “it’s ok, you can keep it” after you reflexively start chewing on it.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Zac Curtis

Most likely to fill in on drums occasionally in a Sublime cover band.

Seattle Mariners Photo Day Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Dean Kiekhefer

Most likely to have stolen back his Lucky Charms.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Edgar Martinez

Most likely to be Puerto Rican Santa Claus.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Robinson Cano

Most likely to have his shadow still manage to go 2-5 with an RBI.

MLB: Seattle Mariners-Media Day Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports