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Mariners Moose Tracks, 12/9/17: Shohei Ohtani, Dashed Expectations, Doom, and Gloom

Well, that huffed ass

you know what? naaaaaahhhhhhh

So yeaaaaah, hey everyone. Happy Saturday to you. At least as happy as it can be given the Mariners offseason may or may not be ruined. Shohei Ohtani, a probable generational talent, has signed with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim instead of the previously front-running Mariners, which is pretty much the worst case scenario of the teams thought to still be in the running.

It’s weird to vehemently hate a team like the Angels yet still be a big enough fan of baseball in general that I still want Ohtani to do well. That’s where I’m at. I want all the bad things in the world to happen to the Angels and only the Angels, but I also want Shohei Ohtani to own the heck out of the AL. But maybe not when he faces the Mariners? I dunno, the world is garbage. Here are some links. Don’t let the bastards grind you down.

In Mariners news...

  • Also, shoutout to Darin Gillies and another very good cause:
  • There are some farm hands left, we swear!

Around the league...

  • Pretty good:
  • Thanks, Grant.
  • The Twins score themselves a Bravelet:
  • Chris Iannetta is a Rockie #COORS

Eric’s pick!

  • Join me as we traipse down this incredible rabbit hole of a Southwest Seattle neighborhood that utterly tears itself apart via the NextDoor App over cannon blasts for every Seahawks touchdown. Buckle up for a WILD ride, my friends:

Special update from Kate!

Hello, it’s me. Why am I awake on a Saturday morning at 5 AM, you might want to know? It’s because no one told my stupid body that the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes is over, and I still wake up every hour or two thinking something has happened. So, in case a division rival getting a generational talent wasn’t enough to screw up your weekend, guess what, trips to Yankee Stadium are about to get one bajillion times worse:

Pro: it’s going to be fun to watch Giancarlo in the AL East. How many home runs will he hit? One billion? One billion seventeen? Con: our pitching staff will now have to pitch to Giancarlo Stanton about a half dozen times a year. That’s annoying, but it’s not the gut punch that Ohtani is. But still annoying. In return, it seems the Yankees are sending some of their lesser prospects (who will immediately slot near the top of the Marlins’ system) and Starlin Castro, who didn’t have a job anyway because GLEYBER So, as it stands right now (the prospects haven’t been announced at the time of this writing), basically free. The Yankees got Giancarlo Stanton for basically free and the Mariners missed out on a generational talent. Seems about right for 2017.