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Good morning! To boost Monday morale we’re going to forego tradition and play a little game of “Guess Who: Minor League Reliever Edition”
Is he a lefty?
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Yes!
Was he protected from the Rule 5 draft and put on the 40 man roster?
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Yes!
Did they do that because he’s going to be a super reliever?
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No (A 5.07 BB/9, 3.51 FIP, and (career low) 2.10 K/BB against triple A hitters doesn’t exactly inspire huge confidence.)
Did they do that because there’s a Charlie Furbush shaped hole where the LOOGY is supposed to be in the bullpen?
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Yes! (He’s fine at limiting hard contact against righties, but issued 21 walks in 30.2 innings in AAA last season against right-handed batters, and that’s not something we want to see at the major league level.)
Can he legally rent a car?
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No (But on July 26th of this year he can have a big ‘ol quarter-decade party!)
Can we be excited about him as another flame throwing reliever?
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No.
Okay, does he throw in the low 90s?
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Yes!
Does he have a funky, bendy, low 80s slider to compensate for lack of velo?
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Yes!
Are there any fun facts I might know, or learn about him?
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No.
Alright, well does he at least have a Wikipedia page I can check out?
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No (And no, his micro-paragraph on the Mariners minor league wiki page doesn’t count.)
Was he the M’s 2015 Minor League Reliever of the Year?
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Yes!
Will he pitch for the 2017 Seattle Mariners?
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(Likely) Yes
Is it Paul Fry?
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Yes! You win! Thanks for playing!
(Huge thank you to Jose Rivera, who scarcely batted an internet eye when I asked him to put the face of a largely unknown minor league reliever on Guess Who cards)