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Alright, may we have a moment of honesty, dear readers and threaders? Tonight I want to see Hisashi Iwakuma absolutely crush J.A. Happ. I'm talking full-on, jumping from the top of the ropes, screaming bloody murder, body smash. But alas, this is baseball, and this game seems destined to never give us what we want. At the very, very, very best we might see Seth Smith get a piece of sunflower seed stuck in his eye and Happ may take that to mean Smith was looking at him funny, and then those two spectacularly dull men could threaten to walk towards each other and the bullpens could come galloping onto the field, all 3,000 of them.
Speaking of which, this may be my favorite tweet of the year and it has nothing to do with the Mariners or the Blue Jays and I'm not sorry in the slightest.
@jlwoj @david_j_roth pic.twitter.com/NufUe0FK1v
— darth™ (@darth) September 20, 2016
But yes, anyway, we're more than halfway through September and the Mariners are somehow still going to be playing a game that we care about. Sort of. Mostly. Probably more than we should but far fess than we'd care to admit. Yet the nature of baseball is such that, if they win tonight *knocks on wood, tosses salt over shoulder, clicks heels together three times and makes a sacrificial guacamole offering for the baseball gods* you'll care just a little bit more than you did while reading this. If they do not win, you'll care a bit less but still tune in every so often because if you're reading this game thread you're already in way too deep, you poor sucker. We are guaranteed baseball for the next two weeks. Beyond that? Only Edgar knows.
Brief lineup musings: Shawn O'Malley gets the start over Ketel Marte (aka Seamus Finnegan), we get a Guti sighting and Guillermo Heredia gets to show off his plate discipline once more. But also Chris Iannetta is starting, because Scott doesn't want us to get too greedy. And yes, Michael Saunders will be starting out in right field tonight, and his long limbs and vaguely-tortured baby blues will haunt us till the ends of our days.
Game Info
Seattle Mariners vs Toronto Blue Jays, 7:10p PT
TV: ROOT
Radio: 710 AM
Web: MLB.tv
GoMs, GoBiz, GoKuma