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Steve Cishek to DL, bunch of other stuff

So many chairs, so little deck.

Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

While we may still not be totally sure who in the heck Ariel Miranda is, we've known for a few days now that he would be tonight's starting pitcher. What we didn't know is how the Mariners would create a roster spot for him. Well, now, thanks to the wonders of online communication and hardworking beat reporters, we know:

I'm a little rushed this afternoon so let's break this down piece by piece real quick.

Steve Cishek has a torn hip laburm

Take it away, google search:

Cishek Labrum

Ow. Poor Steve.

Donn Roach to Tacoma

Donn Roach is not particularly good, so this is fine. The atrocious Papa Roach jokes will be put back in cryostatis for now.

Mayckol Gauipe released

Mayckol Gauipe signed with the Mariner in October of 2006 for a sum of money sufficiently small that record of it is very difficult to locate. For the last 10 years he has toiled in Seattle's farm system, inching his way ever closer to the major leagues. For 34 IP over 2015-16 he actually made it, only to be lost in the back end roster shuffle. He is currently out for the year with an elbow injury, and now out of a job, the only job, for the only team he has known in his adult life.

In a different age Guaipe's mid 90's fastball and at times above average curveball would have made him a bullpen fixture, or at least more than a placeholder. But baseball has moved beyond that, and relievers with simply very good stuff are not enough anymore. We live in the era of Edwin Diaz, Dellin Betances, Aroldis Chapman, Andrew Miller, and others. Men who have taken the idea of stuff beyond what would have been considered human a mere decade earlier.

Guaipe is human, like you and I, but a hell of a lot better at baseball. He picked the wrong era to be a mortal. Here's to a speedy recovery and many years of healthy baseball to him.

Blake Parker promoted

Head LL Bizness Man and noted Internet Celebrity Zach Sanders has been harping for Blake Parker since Spring Training. I don't normally care what Zach thinks or says, but he has a nasty habit of knowing a lot about pitchers, so for now I'll defer to him and say you may be mildly excited about this promotion. Here is former Mariner Ryan Rowland-Smith on Parker, with whom he was a teammate in 2012:

So, here we are then, with more injuries, promotions, releases and DL stints for the bullpen. Brendan may have left us, but he's right on here: