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51-49: Chart

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The Mariners done gone been plundered by Gerrit Cole and the Pirates.

Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

That game was not fun to watch. Go enjoy some evening sunshine, my friends. Days like today are fleeting.

Drew Storen's first inning as a Mariner: Norichika Aoki (0.104 WPA)
Deciding to send Storen back out for a second inning: James Paxton (-0.157 WPA)
Jerry's Schtick: (0 BB by M's hitters + 9 K by M's pitchers) - (3 BB by M's pitchers + 6 K by M's hitters) = 0 happy points