The Mariners dropped below .500 in spectacular fashion yesterday, marking the end of a winning era of Seattle baseball. While once fun to chat about these M's around the office, it now brings nothing but sadness and tears, and you can't give your co-workers the emotional upper-hand in the race to the top of the corporate ladder. Thus, you will need to consider new topics of conversation for your gatherings around the watercooler, and Lookout Landing's resident Master of Business and Arbitrage is here to help.
Basketball just drafted, and the local -- oh shit, this is just as sad as the Mariners. Don't talk about basketball. RIP. Football, though. This town has a good football team. You can say nice things about the Seahawks and everyone will believe you are a quality human being, even though you and I both know about the upper-decker you left in the restroom last week to assert your dominance.
Susan from HR would like you to know that it is unseasonably warm out there. Well GET USED TO IT, SUSAN, climate change is real.
Britain leaving the EU? This is important world news, and both you and your coworkers surely have strong and informed opinions to share about the consequences that may be felt around the globe.
Your Dirtbag Boss
Man, Steven has really been riding you lately, and you should make this clear to all your friends. He's a great guy, but this company has to get its act together and hire some support staff; tell enough people and garner some support, and you may be able to start a Business Riot.
Game of Thrones
Did you guys see what happened last week? That one guy from that one place kicked the bucket! And someone will next week! Who could it be? There's only one episode left in this season, so make sure to catch up so you can talk about the show next Monday, especially if there's someone sitting near you that deserves some spoilers.
Contrary to popular belief, you definitely want to talk about politics at the office. Believe me, you want to know who Debra in Purchasing is voting for, so that you know whether or not to give her any special treatment in the event of a fire. Especially if she's a [REDACTED] supporter, who clearly deserve to be ridiculed. Wait, did I just get censured by a friggin website? I said [REDACTED] dammit, my opinions will not ignored. Oh come on, this is bullcrap. You can't fire me, I QUIT.