In many ways, this is an ode to Jesus Sucre, whose career may -- for all intents and purposes -- be over after suffering a serious leg injury. Sucre will almost certainly miss the entirety of the 2016 season, and since he was the fourth of five catchers anyway, nothing changes for the MLB team.
There was a time when Sugar Messiah seemed like a prototypical backup catcher. Always a good defender, Sucre seemed to show that he may not be a disaster at the plate in 2012 as a 24-year-old in Double-A, and translated that into brief Triple-A success in 2013, hitting .299 over 95 plate appearances.
Glucose Savior has been absolutely punchless in the majors though, and he's we would call an "automatic out" if such a thing were technically possible for players not named Shaq Thompson. If this were beer league softball, the outfielders would be yelling "bring it in!" when he stepped to the plate. At first, it was moderately amusing, because no player can truly be this punchless, and some regression was sure to come. But it never did, and it likely never will. Sucre is what he is, and he's not very good.
Sweet Baby Jesus will likely never see the majors again, but he could be a career org guy if he recovers from his injury, helping to nurture young catchers and pitchers as they come through Tacoma. That's certainly not the career he wanted, but it could be a rewarding one should he be up for the challenge.