Spring has sprung. The birds are singing, flowers bloom upon the laurel, and naturally all of us here at Lookout Landing are thinking about books. Recently, our book-learnin' has lead us to a rather new series named Harry (Harold) Potter, a book about magical worlds and a school that teaches said magic. Strangely, and perhaps in a mirroring of real-world issues, this educational institution takes children through middle school all the way until the final year of secondary school, yet fails to teach them a single professional skill. Metallurgy, carpentry, plumbing, welding, even farming, all fall to the wayside in lieu of Hogwarts' strict and archaic desire to teach only magic.
Despite this clear oversight, the world of Harry Potter has gathered a small, yet boisterous, fan base. This is a fan base that often wishes to place itself within this magical and fantastical and unrealistic world by imagining itself as twelve year-old children again and being placed in to one of the four houses of Hogwarts. So, to appease this eager crowd, we here at Lookout Landing have done them all a service by placing some current Mariners into houses, and even going so far as to place ourselves into houses. To begin, let's have a brief description of the houses courtesy of this image and The Internet:
Gryffindor: An individualistic house most associated with great exploits, courage, and desire for fame. The house animal is a lion. Everyone thinks they are in this house because it is the "best house" because all the main characters are from it but everyone is also wrong about both those things.
Hufflepuff: Defined by their love of living things, family, and comfort, Hufflepuff usually gets crapped on as a bunch of wusses. However, it was a Hufflepuff who got Frodo up Mount Doom. Chew on that business. The house animal is a badger which is an animal that may survive nuclear warfare.
Ravenclaw: This house is defined by a love of learning and curiosity. Essentially a bunch of nerds that get their wands snapped by kids from stronger houses, Ravenclaws would choose to sit around and think about what it really means as opposed to kicking a little ass and getting some Dark Arts up in this. The house animal is a raven because originality is dead.
Slytherin: Often thought of as an evil house because everyone evil from the books comes from this house, Slytherin is about ambition and power but also cunning and manipulation. These are some go-getters. The house animal is a snake because of history and people hate snakes. Snakes can be cool, though.
CURRENT/PAST MARINERS SORTED BY MAJORITY VOTING:
Gryffindor: Mike Zunino, Taijuan Walker, Charlie Furbush, Felix Hernandez, Franklin Gutierrez
Hufflepuff: Jesus Sucre, James Paxton, Steve Clevenger, Boog Powell, Nori Aoki, Seth Smith
Ravenclaw: Steve Cishek, Hisashi Iwakuma, Mike Cameron, Ed Lucas, John Olerud, Jamie Moyer
Slytherin: Robinson Cano, Tony Zych, Adam SLYTHERLIND, Shawn O'Malley, Kyle Seager (Meg and Kate strenuously object in favor of Hufflepuff), Jay Buhner (definitely a Deatheater)
*The staff feels strongly that Nelson Cruz takes most after the character Victor Krum, the unstoppable Bulgarian seeker who attended the Durmstrang Academy. If he attended Hogwarts, we feel Nelson would ply his wares in Slytherin, however.
Taking things a step further, the staff decided to all partake in the same Harry Potter quiz which is linked RIGHT HERE. Below are the results for the team here at LL. We encourage you to take the quiz and answer the poll at the bottom with the house you were sorted in to.
STAFF RESULTS (first house then minor house):
Eric: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff - LL classic
Andrew: Ravenclaw/Gryffindor - smart and strong, like a Manhattan
Nathan: Gryffindor/Ravenclaw - our fearless, smart leader
Brendan: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff - LL classic, again
Patrick: Slytherin/Slytherin - whoa
Colin: Gryffindor/Ravenclaw - and you have my axe
Kate: Ravenclaw/Slytherin - something new
Matt: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff - checks out
Anders: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw - the ol' softy
Meg: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff - it's a trend
David: Gryffindor/Slytherin - must be an ass
Take the quiz and tell us what you think about where we sorted your Seattle Mariners.