Mariners Moose Tracks, 12/21/16: Buchholz to Phillies, Felix on a trampoline, and flying turkeys

Happy Wednesday to you all. We’ve reached the point of the baseball offseason where literally nothing happens so we all pretend to get excited and worked up when Clay Buccholz and his weird hair get shipped off to Philadelphia for a prospect you’ve never heard of.

Honestly, as much as we joke about Dipoto being the Greek God of Trades, he’s been awfully quiet the last few weeks. The Segura trade feels like it was ages ago and I’m sure the fan base would love one last rodeo before we turn the calendar over to 2017. Do it, Jerry. Bring us anything. I’ll take Smyly at this point. Just give us something to believe in, a breath from the breathing.

Alright, enough Jack’s Mannequin for now. Let’s get on with it.

In Mariner land...

• Felix Hernandez bounced around on a trampoline like an angel yesterday (Instagram). He’s also wearing jean shorts. Why are you wearing jean shorts, Felix?
• The Mariners have an analytics intern position open for those interested in getting their foot in the door.

In other baseball news:

• The Boston Red Sox traded RHP Clay Buchholz to the Philadelphia Phillies for for 2B Josh Tobias. The move likely represents the end of any potential trade between the Mariners and Red Sox that includes starting pitching.
• The Cleveland Indians have signed 1B Chris Colabello to a minor league deal. Colabello will be given a shot to win the first base job next year.
• The Padres and Jake Peavy are talking about a potential reunion. I will give you five dollars if you can name the Padres’ current rotation (no cheating!). Go ahead, I will wait.
• Sonny Gray isn’t getting much love on the trade market, according to Ken Rosenthal.
• Dave Cameron wonders whether the Astros really need Jose Quintana.
• Jeff Sullivan took another look at Billy Butler’s base running and how god awful it is.

Bonus picks...

• Burger King is offering whoppers in-exchange for unwanted holiday gifts. Don’t want that bright red turtleneck your tipsy uncle you only see twice a year got you? Turn it into a whopper. I haven’t been to Burger King since I discovered the wonderful world of Burgerville, but it’s worth keeping in mind.
• Flying turkeys have caused a power outage in Medford, OR.