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Woof. Mariners lose.

Nuno can't hold up, the bats do very little good, and we are all very tired

By Meg Rowley
Harry How/Getty Images

This is late September baseball. It featured a wonky strike zone, a bunch of boo birds, a couple of runs for the Mariners, and (sadly) more runs for the Angels.

It's Friday, we're all a little tired, and this game was not super fun, so I'll keep it to the highlights. Excuse me. "Highlights."

1st Inning:

Nelson Cruz GONNNNNNEEEEEEEE. Nellie's home run made that noise home runs make when you. Just. Freaking. Know. It was his 43rd home on a terrrrrible 97 mph dumb pitch in the middle of the plate that stat cast estimated at 428 feet to left center. Nelson is now tied with Chris Davis for the AL lead for HR. So thanks, Nelson! (And thanks, Mookie Betts, for robbing Chris Davis earlier tonight!)

After an Aybar double, Trout blooped a double into right to score Aybar because of some good hitting and also some pretty slow running from the Sad Trumbone. And then Albert Pujols wrecks a fastball to left as Seth Smith watches it sailllll away over the wall.

Then Cron hits a line drive double then Freese does a thing and suddenly it's 4-1 and Nuno is looking pretty not great.

2nd Inning

Seth walked, Trumbo walked, then... oh right LoMo. Man, LoMo is on this team. LoMo gaps one hard to right field, and Seth scored.

And then Brad Miller! Perez fielded a weird little bunt cleanly but then threw it away (base hit, error 2). Trumbo scored.

Was Steve Barron wearing Converse this game? Was he sleeping? No, but he also didn't do much and struck out looking. There was a moment when Steve did a jerky little movement as if to say "I SHOULD SWING? WHAT IS BASEBALL" He didn't swing. He was called out.

During Kyle's at bat, he was delayed by a beach ball (Anaheim, you're weird) and then Perez called time. And the assembled home fans were not happy. Guys. Perez called time. Not Kyle. Stop booing. You're embarrassing yourselves. Kyle sort of embarrassed himself striking out on a meh pitch. Bummer. Time is a flat dumb circle, which is coincidentally what Jered Weaver calls his fastball and his Styx cover band.

3rd Inning

Put another way

4th Inning

Man, Brad got some goofy hits tonight. His second hit of the night was deflected off Garrett Richard's left foot and allowed to die just behind the mound. It didn't matter as Steve Baron is on this team somehow, but as Sims said: We'll take it.

Shane Victorino is the reason there is a rule about how long walk up songs can be, so he's pretty good at ruining fun. He hit a double, so he's really good at ruining fun. Johnny Giavotella singles and Victorino scores.

5th inning

Seags hit a single. He has 161 on the season, a new career high for hits in a season for the Sweetest Prince. Luh you, Kyle. Oh, we didn't do anything else this inning.

Freese got hit. It was not on purpose. The Angels fans were very measured and rational about it. Hahahah no. They freaked out. Guys, excuse my swears but fuck off. You're fine. YOU ARE FINE.

Also, this happened.

Our catching situation is really great. All of these guys are A+ receivers and they don't make me miss Mike Zunino a lot, especially against Garrett Richards. It's fine.

7th Inning

I mean, the Angels scored some runs. C.J. Cron's face looks like his name should be C.J. Cron. He hit a home run. My face looked like a sad Mariners fan with a losing team. We all have challenges. Any way, he scored and so did Pujols. At least Ketel Marte turned a neat little play to end the inning. I would show it to you but it isn't available. Re-watch the game and you'll see it (don't do that to yourself).

8th Inning

We weirdly scored, and then Guti got plunked (it was not on purpose) to load up the bases and bring in famously good hitter... James Jones. Remember in Greek mythology when Prometheus steals fire and then is forced to have his liver eaten by an eagle every day only to have it regenerate every night? Anyway, Jones struck out, and some of the strike calls were bad, but we've also been here before. Like, a lot.

Also LoganRob KensingRassmusen struck out Mike Trout. It was fun.

9th Inning

Kyle went oppo on single and did not flip the bird to the baseball fans of Anaheim in Orange County. That's fun. The rest of this inning would not be. The Mariners would lose. We'll regenerate overnight and see where we are tomorrow. Felix will be on the mound, Garrett Richards will not be, and you be sure to watch out now, Kyle.

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