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Well last night the Mariners beat the Houston Astros, which means that even if they lose today they walk away from the series with a win. This is a remarkably important development in this shitstain of a season, and don't forget that it was exactly one week ago when the Astros were clobbering Felix and then teeing off 13-0 like Jack Niklaus taking on a couple four year olds and mini golf. Now they have a legitimate chance to enter next week only four games back from .500.
Thankfully, they will try their luck today against Astros righty Vincent Velasquez, a 2010 draftee who has never pitched a game of AAA. He will be making his third Major League start this afternoon, so on paper you know that the Mariners should be able to run through him like shredded paper. But think about Roenis Elias for a second, and think about the Mariners, and hell, just think about what happens whenever these morons face a supposedly inferior arm and then you can go ahead and maybe turn off your television before the game even begins.
No? Well, I suppose you wouldn't want to miss the day when all this finally starts to turn around. So call your dad, grill some food, and let's hope we can enter the evening celebrating the best Sweepsmas of the season. Goms.
Game info
- Mariners vs Astros, 1:10 PM PST
- TV: ROOT
- Radio: 710 ESPN, KIRO 97.3 FM
- Online: MLB.tv
- Likelihood of being near no-hit by a AA starter: 63.4%
- Home runs to be hit by Logan Morrison: 1
- Misplayed fly balls in right field: Yes
- Mike Zunino grill apron: Great
- Astros: Still obnoxious, even in defeat