Seattle Mariners Game Recaps

The Mariners beat the Astros, again

In a surprising 6-3 victory, the Mariners defeat the Astros in a hell of a Saturday victory which brought us Cruz, Trumbo, and Smith dingers. Also not losing, because yes.

By Matthias Ellis@matthiasellis Jun 21, 2015, 12:34am PDT

So today the Mariners beat the Astros. That's a thing that happened, and if you really want some details you should follow these here links to give you them:

1. Bob Dutton- Mariners back Walker with three-homer muscle in 6-3 victory over Astros.

2. Greg Johns- Mariners break out lumber and Walker fans 11.

Ostensibly Divish and Shannon Drayer will get in on the recap action soon, and if you really want the details you should click all those links. That's because I wrote last night's recap and I'm writing tonight's, and I'm also writing tomorrow's. Also I've written hundreds of these, literally, and it's now 3:03 AM and I don't want to write about this, and you don't want to hear what I have to say about it. That's because,

Taijuan was good, and struck out fucking ELEVEN batters tonight while only giving up five hits.
Nelson Cruz, Seth Smith, and Mark Trumbo hit dingers into the Safeco crowd, which would have been enough to with the game but then the Mariners scored even more on the night while making Dallas Keuchel look silly.
Ok, they didn't make him look silly, but they topped off a bunch of runs on a guy that can put out seven strikeouts on a night but blow it with four walks and five earned runs. Goms, etc.
Mike Zunino is still fucked, but hey, Edgar.

As for all the other shit, well, I'm tired of writing these and need to go to bed. So as a result, I'm going to complete this recap with representations of each inning. If you really want to find out to what these photos refer to, read one of the aforementioned recaps or the ones yet to come, or hell, just read this shit that I always use as a framework to base my recaps off of, and now the mystery is all gone, minus the cuss words. So without further ado, I present to you a photographic representation of tonight's Mariners game through signification: and until we can make the two ends meet in the fair/foul lines of reality, well...goms.

FIRST INNING