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20-23: Chart

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Taijuan Walker pitches four solid frames before running into trouble, but the Mariners end up falling to the Blue Jays, 8-2.

LASER EYES.........ACTIVATE.....WAIT....WAIT NO
LASER EYES.........ACTIVATE.....WAIT....WAIT NO
Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images

chart5.25

Cannes: Kyle Seager, Grandma Killer (.146 WPA)

Your parents' living room television with TruMotion: Taijuan Walker (-.231 WPA)

The Mariners lost, but it actually wasn't the end of the world. I mean, I'm still here, typing this. You're reading! No matter how bad things get, we can be assured that nothing that bad will happe