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1-3: Chart

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Well that was fun.

Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Blegh

Opening day: Yoervis Furbush (0 WPA)

This game: Taijuan Walker (-.352 WPA)

This game reminded me of this recap from Dave Cameron back in 2010, which remains the gold standard reaction to a game like this. Questions are in the comments. Or will be if you happen to be reading this within two minutes of posting.