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Mariners sign reliever Justin De Fratus

Jerry seriously sit still. SIT. STILL.

Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Were you wanting to talk about last night's trade or this morning's signing? Ok you can but here's another one:

I really, really appreciate Dipoto taking the time off during Thanksgiving but clearly he got himself all backed up in the process and now everything is flowing freely once again. De Fratus was a quality reliever in 2014 but saw his role shift during the ill-fated and misbegotten Sandberg Era to long relief and his 2015 was pretty much a disaster. Still, at 28 with a plus fastball/slider combination he could potentially regress and become a useful arm against right-handers.

It's a buy low, as most of Dipoto's deals have been, and at this point Jerry appears to be trying to assemble the traditional bullpen pile and an outfielder pile right next to it. First ones to disentangle themselves and squirm to safety get a roster spot.

Now, because I have nothing else to say about this transaction, here are some facts about De Fratus' hometown of Oxnard, CA. Please note some of these are real, and some are not.

  • Oxnard is the 20th largest city in California
  • Oxnard CA is where Lenny got shot in Of Mice and Men
  • In 1542 Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo claimed the area that is now Oxnard for Spain
  • According to recent geological surveys, will be the only town in CA to not fall in to the Pacific
  • Oxnard is home to the Port of Hueneme, the only deep water port between Los Angeles and San Francisco Bay
  • Oxnard CA elects a king instead of a mayor, but they basically just do the normal mayor stuff
  • On average, rainfall totals 15.6 inches per year
  • The town was originally to be named "Oxford" however city founder James Palpateer, tragically allergic to the city's native orange groves, sneezed halfway through the pronouncement.
  • In Oxnard CA all high-fives are legally required to be followed by low-fives, based on an outdated law
  • The August average daily high is a pleasant 73.9 degrees Fahrenheit while the average daily low in that month is 60.0 degrees.
  • Despite common rump mongering against it, Oxnard, CA is the TRUE "Old Hangtown" and not their sister city of Placerville.
Welcome, Justin.