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The Bad Baseball Card Tournament: Sweeter 16

The favorite of the tourney has been knocked out. Will ProVisions, historically shamed, share the fate of the other one-seeds? This is why we watch.

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Patrick Dubuque

Upheaval continued in the first half of the Sweet 16 of the BBCT yesterday, as a one-seed fell and an eight-seed advanced, while 1995 Fleer held serve. Below you'll find a scarcely legible bracket that you can click to download a slightly more readable bracket:


Here's what's ahead, or, if you DVRed the tournament and want to catch up on prior matchups first, what was behind:

Sweet 16 - Base Cards Monday, January 19
Sweet 16 - Inserts and Subsets Tuesday, January 20
Elite Eight Wednesday, January 21
Final Four Thursday, January 22
The Ultimate Showdown Friday, January 23

Fun fact: if Thunder Dial 1 wins and Scott makes me carry out that threat of buying one for him to put in his cubicle or corner office or underground laboratory or wherever he works, it will cost me actual real money. Economics are a sham.

#1: 1995 Fleer ProVisions vs. #5: 1994 Ultra All-Rookie Team


Tale of the Tape
ProVisions 94 All-Rookie Team
Expressionism Art Style Post-post-modernism
Oil on Canvas Medium Spray paint on Van
20% Probability of satire 5%
Spinoza Ethical Foundations Nietzsche

#6: 1993 Ultra All-Rookie Team vs. #2: 1999 Thunder Dial 1


Tale of the Tape
93 All-Rookie Team Thunder Dial 1
Shouting Method of Communication Shouting in Post Offices
None Rollover Minutes (check with your provider)
None Data Plan None
No Carcinogenic Probably Not

#8: 1991 Topps Micro vs. #5: 1998 Ultra Pizzazz


Tale of the Tape
Topps Micro Ultra Pizzazz
Saves Favorite statistic RBI
No Considers hot dog a sandwich Yes
Nautilus Favorite submarine The Merrimack
Strong Knowledge of submarines Poor

#3: Collector's Choice What's The Call vs. #2: 1986 Topps 3-D Stars


Tale of the Tape
CC What's the Call Topps 3-D Stars
2.5" x 3.5" Dimensions 4.25" x 6"
2 Dimensions 3
0 Forbidden Dimensions 1
No Does card contain phenylalamines? Results Inconclusive
Probably Not Does card contain a ghost? Probably

Tomorrow, we begin to make some difficult choices. Also, you will log in to a baseball website and pick between some old, worthless cards that one person felt were funny enough to spend two weeks writing about.