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The Bad Baseball Card Tournament: Sweet 16

Sixteen remain. Take a break from football or from people who care about football and vote for some ugly baseball cards.

tens of cents up in flames
tens of cents up in flames
Patrick Dubuque

Last week, we all learned a little something about baseball cards and ourselves, as we whiled way a dead week in January debating the aesthetic merits of forgotten, worthless baseball cards. This week, we'll go from 16 down to 1. You can play along, and wager your children's college funds, with this handy printable bracket (click to download as .pdf):


As always, you're voting for the card (not the player) you find least attractive. The winning card will be framed and hung on the wall of Scott Weber's office for one calendar year, so a lot is at stake. Here's how the schedule for the rest of the tournament will lay out, for those of you making other plans:

Sweet 16 - Base Cards Monday, January 19
Sweet 16 - Inserts and Subsets Tuesday, January 20
Elite Eight Wednesday, January 21
Final Four Thursday, January 22
The Ultimate Showdown Friday, January 23

Hopefully after that, the Mariners will sign Endy Chavez or James Jones will proclaim that he'll steal 40 bases or Zduriencik will have left a message on the voicemail of James Shields's agent, and we'll have something to talk about. In the meantime: here we go. This is where the going gets tough, for a very specific definition of "the going".

#1: 1996 Metal Universe vs. #4: 1992 Topps Kids


Tale of the Tape
1996 Metal Universe 1992 Topps Kids
0 Carlories 0
0g Protein 0g
0% Daily Allowance of Vitamin C 0%
25% Daily Allowance of Zinc 0%

#3: 1997 Circa vs. #2: 1995 Fleer


Tale of the Tape
1997 Circa 1995 Fleer
Homespun Wisdom Info on Front of Card Playing Weight
100% Edginess 100%
100% Explosiveness 32%
Oaky, notes of cherry Flavor earthy, hints of contemptuousness

#8: 1990 Topps vs. #4: 1981 Donruss


Tale of the Tape
1990 Topps 1981 Donruss
No Team Logo No
Yes Non-Team Colored Borders Yes
Frank Thomas Best Rookie Tim Raines
No Contains Joe Charboneau Yes

#6: 1986 Sportflics vs. #2: 1991 Fleer


Tale of the Tape
1986 Sportflics 1991 Fleer
Clear Favorite Color YELLOW
Magic Motion Philosophy YELLOW
The Scientist Favorite Coldplay Song YELLOW
K19: The Widowmaker Favorite Submarine YELLOW

Check back tomorrow, which will be similar to today. For you. Your life, I mean. Your life is pretty much the exact same every day, when you think about it.