Well mega apologies for taking a year and then some to get this recap up, but let's be honest: you weren't waiting for this in any way shape, or form, and I wasn't exactly waiting to get it up as I took a train back home from an hour out of my residence, ruminating over a team that just can't seem to get over the hill into something manageable as I watched lights pass by in the window of the commuter rail train running from the state of Massachusetts to the state of Rhode Island.
The Mariners lost today, and in the process, Chris Young regressed to the thing that we all feared would happen in May. Unfortunately, it's not May at all, and every base hit of terror that happened tonight may have been catastrophe in May but they were ancillary in September: I say this because it's clear that the Mariners should have just done their part and won the game tonight, but they didn't, and they didn't because a pitcher that was over-performing all year Performed, and here we are. Here's the night:
10 Astros runs.
1 Mariners run.
2 hours, fifty-seven minutes of blah.
Dave Sims didn't say "shit" this time.
The Astros are obnoxious.
Dingers from Chris Carter, Alex Presley, Matt Dominguez, Carlos Corporan, (holy shit this is a lot of dingers), Jake Marisnick, and holy shit what are these Astros.
Clearly the big story tonight was that the A's lost pathetically to the Phillies, and the Royals got creamed by the Tigers, who are going to win the AL Central. Those are good things. Then the Mariners lost because Chris Young gave up 7 runs over three and change, and while that's kind of terrifying it's also a thing that happened with eight games left to go, and that in and of itself is kind of damn exciting.
The thing is that these are getting crazy hard to write. I never thought I'd say that. Usually I tell people that I write about Mariners games on the internet, and they tell me through drunken slurs that it must be the hardest job in the world. Well, I have to tell you they are wrong. See, the thing is that writing about the fucking Mariners is the easiest goddamn job I've ever had: it's been a bloodline of failure relegated to myth and archetype that seems extremely difficult to stray from, and while they are closer to the playoffs than they have been in like, oh I don't know, thirteen years, you can't take away anything that's happened so far this year.
Wow. I'm rambling. This is a recap, and what I need to be doing is telling you about this game.
Here's what happened:
The Mariners lost by 9 runs.
Chris Young blew it, but also Erasmo Ramirez blew it too.
Mariners hitters blew it, but everyone knew that was a thing that would happe
And it's tough, because everyone kind of thought that Chris Young was going to be A Thing in the playoffs.
You know, a lot of things. Instead what happens it that I just typed five-hundred and twenty-five words that ramble to some sort of incoherent mass that makes up "I would love for the Mariners to make the playoffs," but none of those things may be feasible. Instead we will have to wait and see what Iwakuma comes up with over the next couple of days, or perhaps throw up some paper signs to cheer on Felix as he looks to break a career record in strikeouts. Or if anything, we will watch as these guys snatch their first playoff win in multiple decades, and that will be the best thing imaginable.
I knwo this is crazy short. But in the interim, let's talk about our ideal playoff situation and what you want to see. This only has to be sad if we let it be sad. So instead, let's go M's, and turn this into something great.