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9-14: Chart

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The Mariners keep finding new ways to lose ballgames. Today it was by actually being competitive and then having a ninth inning. Lets make baseball games last eight now.

Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports

Chart-2

MacGyver: Michael Saunders (.068 WPA)

MacGruber: Yoervis Medina (-.143 WPA)

Hey-hey-ho-ho-The Mariners bullpen has got to...um...not-do-the-stuff-they-did-in-the-ninth-inning or something oh fuck it.

QUESTIONS:

1. You get a round-trip ticket to a European city of your choice where you are allowed to spend two days using someone else's credit card however you want. Where do you go, what do you do?

2. Siracha. Yes? No?

3. You are a closer for a major-league baseball team. What is your entrance music?