Beavan and Noesi lead Mariners to another win, wait what

This spring training has been exceptionally enjoyable so far, not only because the Mariners have managed to stay turn their health woes around a bit (Taijuan Walker's 25-pitch bullpen session went excellent today), but because they've generally been clobbering the shit out of their opponents. Today's fare against the Diamondbacks didn't go much differently.

It's become exceptionally entertaining to watch follow games while choosing only certain things to get excited about, freeing your mind to be stupid in positive and negative ways at the same time. We all know this doesn't mean anything. We all know that the Mariners topping the D-Backs is worthless, and that spring training performances correlate closer to an inverse performance in the regular season than they do a successful one.

This doesn't prevent us from squealing with glee every time Robinson Cano rakes. He's not just having a good spring, he's having a superhuman one. At this very moment, he's our new shiny toy, and it's still Christmas morning. As the days go on, he won't be as fun as he was through that Christmas afternoon, but we won't forget the first day. I want Cano-mas to last forever.

Cano is hitting .632. SIX THIRTY TWO. It's so absurd that I don't want to use anything other than batting average. I don't give a shit what time of year it is, this is ridiculously fun, and I feel somewhat cheated that I can't watch all of it on TV. He was a blast to watch when I was in Peoria, and he's continuing to simply toy with pitchers at this early stage. Toy that toys. He's good. He's ours. Don't talk about the money.

Flip the script to our resident lump of coal Hector Noesi, who's having a pretty solid spring himself. Noesi is out of options, isn't likely to make the rotation, and would have to grab a final bullpen spot in order to stick around. For every ounce of me that believes Robinson Cano is a real live Seattle Mariner, every other piece of me still thinks Hector Noesi is a worthless bag of...coal? Funny how irrationality lends itself to what you want to believe and disappears when you've got your mind made up. Hector Noesi isn't beating rationality.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Noesi has been bounced around and misused through his career, and he might actually be a piece that does something decent if he gets to stay in one role all year. He does have solid stuff, he's just never been able to keep it out of the middle of the plate. Wait and see, like everything else. 18 days, you guys. 18 days.

• Logan Morrison popped his first home run of the spring, and it's about time. He's been solid through spring training, but now Z tells Heyman that he's keeping dialogue open with Kendrys Morales. Eteranl tease. If Morales comes, it seems likely that Morrison would be ticketed for AAA, at least with McClendon's latest declaration that Smoak is "our first baseman."  Maybe they'll sign Morales, trade for Viciedo, and field all 6 of these DH types at once. Please I'm so good at making GIFs please
  
• It's strange, but with all the graduated talent on this team, Noesi is the only player who's out of options. Smoak, Morrison, Saunders - all could be sent to AAA if this team decided to make a monster splash with / this really maybe probably isn't happening why can't I grade this illogical roster and offseason yet
• I've been having a little fun with Jack Reinheimer, and he got another hit today after pinch running for Cano. He's been one of the more obscure players to get a good amount of run the past couple of days, and I love watching players who haven't progressed past Everett do good things in a Mariner uniform because you know that means the world to them, even if it doesn't to our hardened, cynical, spring training hating hearts. Smile for Jack*
  
• Mike Jacobs was a Mariner at this time last year, and now he's an Arizona Diamondback. 2008 and his best sort-of good season seems like a distant memory. Teams are still chasing 32 homers with a .299 OBP, even now that he's 33. I get that camps need bodies, but really.
• Blake Beavan looked as encouraging as he can look today, and he's probably going to win the 5th rotation spot assuming Iwakuma and Walker start the year on the DL.

*Reinheimer, not Zduriencik