A conversation between Jack Zduriencik and his wife

Debbie Zduriencik: You're home?

Jack Zduriencik: I am home.

Debbie: I figured you'd be working.

Jack: Yeah, well...

Debbie: I guess not.

Jack: That's correct.

Debbie: Can I get you anything?

Jack: Yes, thank you. I could go for a beer.

Debbie: I'm afraid we don't have any.

Jack: No kidding.

Debbie: We have some orange juice? A glass of water?

Jack: No, no. I'm fine.

Debbie: I see a can of ginger ale in here.

Jack: I said I'm fine.

Debbie:

Jack:

Debbie: So, are you hungry?

Jack: I am starving.

Debbie: Should we go out?

Jack: I'd really prefer if we could eat at home.

Debbie:

Jack:

Debbie: Well, I wasn't exactly expecting you... let me see what we have.

Jack: I'm good with anything.

Debbie: I could throw together a salad? Maybe bake up some chicken to go with it.

Jack: That sounds just fine.

Debbie: Would you care to come over here and help me a bit?

Jack:

Debbie:

Jack: Yes, of course. What can I do?

Debbie: You could make the dressing.

Jack: Make the dressing?

Debbie: Yes. Make the dressing. It's a vinaigrette. It doesn't just come out of a bottle.

Jack: It doesn't?

Debbie: No, it does not.

Jack:

Debbie:

Jack: Alright, so what do I do?

Debbie: You can start by grabbing the balsamic and the olive oil. Would you like to add mustard?

Jack: Mustard?

Debbie: Yes, mustard. Dijon.

Jack: I don't think I'd like mustard, no.

Debbie: Alright then.

Jack: Where should I put this stuff?

Debbie: Right here is fine.

Jack: Ok, now what is this?

Debbie: It's a garlic press.

Jack: Huh.

Debbie: You'll need to peel the garlic before pressing it.

Jack: All right. Where might I find the garlic?

Debbie: It's right there, in the bowl on the counter.

Jack:

Debbie:

Jack:

Debbie:

Jack: I don't know how to work this fucking thing.

Debbie: I was going to have dinner with my sister.