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When Taijuan Walker drank coffee

Imagine a photoshopped mug o' steamin' joe.


Yesterday was the MLB Futures Game and Taijuan Walker was slated to pitch. Perhaps experiencing some pregame excitement, or a bout of insomnia, or a horrible thrashing night terror, Walker found himself awake earlier than anticipated and he needed something to drink. The young man reached for a tried and true foolproof morning staple: coffee. It was his first time doing so, and the first time that the fresh brewed elixir had ever touched the phenom's taste buds. I know this moderately intimate seeming detail of Taijuan Walker's life because he chose to broadcast the information on the Internet through the social media platform Twitter.

Hashtag growingup indeed. Walker was born in the year 1992, making him 20 years old today, 21 in August. If memory serves I was around the same age when I first gave coffee an honest shake. I had probably sipped the stuff a few times here and there as a youth, not caring for it at all. Exiting my teens, entering the exciting world of adults and their refined acquired tastes, I figured I was ready to make a legitimate effort towards making coffee part of my daily routine. And that shit was terrible. So overwhelmingly bitter. I found the flavor to resemble that of liquid dirt. All this is to say that Walker's above reaction to his first cup of coffee proves that he is no doubt mature beyond his years and a true leader and an ace in the making.

Following the tweet, Walker was electronically slammed with all sorts of wonderful barbs about Seattle, and coffee, and Pearl Jam, and Patagonia and rain and KEXP and reusable grocery bags and all the other hilarious things that people like to joke about when it comes to this area of the world. Ok, maybe just the first two. I could be projecting a bit.

Walker went on to pitch one inning in the Futures Game, generating two ground outs, one walk, and a pop out. The game and the outing didn't mean much objectively but emotionally it was nice to witness a clean inning and a favorable result. The most promising Mariners pitching prospect took the mound on a large national stage and performed admirably. After having ingested coffee for the first time.

This has been another installment in the highly acclaimed Internet blogging series Taijuan Walker Eats And/Or Drinks Something.

Bonus Taijuan Walker Tweet