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22-30: M's Reminded of Place in Natural Order

Fun Fact: I paid actual U.S. currency to be allowed visual contact with the baseball-related proceedings described herein. The money I used could have been allocated toward thirty 100 Grand bars, six Brandon Morrow Mariner bobbleheads, the vote of one city councilperson, or my mortgage.

By Patrick Dubuque
the sky is the limit. there are multiple limits
the sky is the limit. there are multiple limits
Otto Greule Jr

Eric Wedge Deathwatch Day 1 is complete, and I for one would like to thank Mr. Wedge for giving me something with this team to root for. It is very late and I am very tired, so this recap will constitute more of a stream of consciousness narrative rather than a straight rehash of facts and figures, all of which could be represented by an ant being eaten by an antlion on a PBS nature documentary.

The Mariners took the lead, 1 to 0, and although I faced directly toward the field, I cannot recall how it happened. My guess is that Eric Wedge came out and successfully appealed the tie score set at the beginning of the game, giving the team a run. Eric Wedge is that good of a manager.

The Padres then scored six runs, half of them on home-runs-so-obvious-the-outfielder-barely-turns-around variety. Then the game ended, and everyone was allowed to go home.

Bullet Points:

  • Mike Morse was thrown out on home by about seventy feet. To be fair, Mike Morse pulled a hamstring Morse on the play. Also to be fair, Morse appeared to hurt said hamstring halfway between first and second. Morse came out of the game afterwards, and the displaced Endy Chavez made several nice plays in right field in his stead, saving at least one run.
  • Home run #2 earned an enthusiastic applause when the ball was thrown back onto the field. Even against the Padres, it seems like a waste to do this, unless there were some sort of method for then setting the ball on fire, as by some portable incinerator. That's a message.
  • Brandon Maurer's self-esteem dropped today from "First Day at the Register" to "Seventh Grader with Oversized Ears."
  • Danny Farquhar, in the meantime, pitched two solid innings of meaningless relief, dropping his ERA to 7.04. If he has a couple more solid outings, he'll be rewarded by being allowed to have his jersey laundered again.
  • Nick Franklin had a tough day, going 0-for-4 and falling on his face while making a run-scoring error in the sixth. This doesn't mean anything. Well, it means one-twentieth of a thing. All the difficulty in human existence lies in our natural inability to care in fractions about things.
  • A reminder: The plural of Crackerjack is Crackerjacks. It is not Crackerjack. Crackerjack is not a liquid. If you want cereal in the morning, you do not ask for Apple Jack. Thank you.

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