Hero of the game: Kyle Seager (-0.01 WPA), for taking only 12 pitches in 4 plate appearances, helping to end the game faster
Goat of the game: ...
...Felix. (-0.32 WPA)
Instead of posing questions, by suggestion of sea-townie, I'll present a visual history of the 2013 Seattle Mariners, as reflected by the herb garden on my deck.
The Seattle Mariners, on April 24:
The Mariners are a collection of untreated wooden boards, unsupported by any foundation, sagging under the weight of the dirt and decomposed material that feeds a few sad, sagging herbs.
The Seattle Mariners, on May 16:
The Mariners have been stained and braced as well as possible, and there are actually a few plants growing (although, of course, not always the most desirable ones).
The Seattle Mariners, at 11:00 this morning: