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5/17: Chart

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Win Expectancy Chart, courtesy of Fangraphs, for the Mariners at Indians game on May 17, 2013.

how can a swing this pretty produce results this terrible?
how can a swing this pretty produce results this terrible?
USA TODAY Sports

Luetge

SEA P WPA CLE P WPA
Maurer -.043 Jimenez .117
Furbush .166 Hill -.163
Capps .216 Allen .045
Luetge -.422 Shaw .150
Perez .134
Pestano .134

SEA WPA CLE WPA
Saunders -.275 Bourn -.008
Ackley -.103 Kipnis .343
Seager .010 Cabrera -.149
Morales -.083 Swisher -.067
Smoak .028 Santana .129
Ibanez .231 Giambi -.025
Shoppach -.106 Reynolds -.188
Chavez -.098 Brantley -.100
Ryan -.020 Stubbs .149

Brought The Thump: Raul Ibanez, +.231

What A Chump: Lucas Luetge, -.422

Fuck Cleveland.

Questions!

1) Write a short poem (haiku, limerick, heroic couplet... whatever) expressing your hatred for the Cleveland Indians.

2) Michael Brantley is an interesting outfielder not entirely dissimilar to 2012 Michael Saunders. What do you think would be a fair trade that would bring Brantley to the Mariners?

3) A genie descends from the heavens and offers you power over all of the beverages in the city of Cleveland - you can change them all into whatever other soda, juice or soft drink you choose. What drink do you pick, and why?