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Preview: Seattle Mariners (2-0) at Oakland Athletics (0-2)

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Joe Saunders and Tommy Milone to stand in a dark bathroom and stare deeply into a mirror uninterrupted for three hours or so.

Winning is better than losing
Winning is better than losing
USA TODAY Sports

Happiness, success, joy: we know these things to be fleeting and it is with this cold reality in mind that I will refer to the Seattle Mariners as undefeated in the following game preview. The Seattle Mariners have won all their baseball games and lost none of them and it deserves to be remarked upon until it is no longer so. We have to take these things where we can get them, friends.

The season is young and excitement is high and in an attempt to even the universal scale the undefeated Seattle Mariners and Oakland Athletics would like you to watch Joe Saunders pitch against Tommy Milone. Both pitchers are left-handed and don't throw very hard. Both pitchers rely on command/control and give up more flyballs than they do groundballs. Joe Saunders will watch Tommy Milone this evening and let his mind wander to the past and the one-time promise of his untapped potential. Milone will watch Saunders and shudder, his grizzled future laid bare before him, his fate already decided.

As mentioned above, Joe Saunders will represent the undefeated Seattle Mariners this evening and, I have to admit, I was still confusing him with Jon Garland as recently as yesterday. Monosyllabic three-letter first names that start with J, last names that roll off the tongue in similar ways, both not too great at pitching. As noted by Logan, Saunders is really just a glorified LOOGY masquerading as a starter these days, so hopefully Cespedes mashes all of his line drives to areas of the field where defenders are standing, and not to areas of the field where defenders aren't standing.

Milone isn't known for electric stuff but his name is adorable and he was able to outperform his peripherals last season. He relies heavily on avoiding walks and home runs in order to be successful, which isn't the worst game plan in the world when you're a flyball pitcher in Oakland. Or any pitcher anywhere, for that matter.

There will be soft tossing. Here's hoping the flyballs of the undefeated Seattle Mariners fly farther than the flyballs of their competition.

Time: 7:05pm PDT
Location: The Coliseum, Oakland, California
Television: ROOT Sports

A's coverage: Athletics Nation