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Who is going to sign Kendrys Morales if the Mariners don't? With just six days left for Morales to decide whether he wants to accept the Mariners qualifying offer, we should examine the rest of the market, to see where he might actually land up if it's not here. It might be a stupid idea. Don't read this, Kendrys. You too, Scott. Lots of teams want you, so stop reading right now and go polish up the resume, the one that says you can play first base all the time and will a way better hitter outside of Seattle. And definitely decline that bullshit qualifying offer.
More: Making Kendrys Morales a qualifying offer is the right decision
Most definitely not
The National League. Let's cut half the teams out right away, because while Morales might have some appeal to an NL team if they didn't have to give up a pick and pay him tens of millions of dollars, nobody is going to trust his health enough to stick him out there every day.
Boston Red Sox. David Ortiz.
Tampa Bay Rays. There's a fit here from a pure need perspective, but if Morales is walking away from Seattle with salary expectations bigger than 1 year, $14.1 million, you can forget about the Rays, who routinely fill their DH spot with bargains and weirdos with wolverine sideburns.
Toronto Blue Jays. They're set with Edwin Encarnacion and Adam Lind filling up 1B/DH.
Detroit Tigers: Victor Martinez, Prince Fielder, and Miguel Cabrera. But you know, Mike Ilitch. Pizza pizza DH DH
Almost certainly not
Oakland A's. Does this seem like the kind of team that would drop a significant contract on a DH on the wrong side of 30, giving up an unprotected draft pick in the process?
Houston Astros: Rebuilding franchises aren't really in the business of giving unremarkable DHs bundles of money. The new front office is too smart to make this move at this stage in the process.
Minnesota Twins: There's certainly a hole, but it still seems unlikely that he'll be worth the pick after a 96 loss season.
Weirder things have happened
Kansas City Royals. Wouldn't it be the most Dayton Moore thing ever to trade Billy Butler, and then give up a pick to sign an older, worse version of him for a higher salary? Please do this, Royals.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: You know this is at least somewhat of a possibility when Arte Moreno gets annoyed with the off-season and wants to make another binge purchase. They could deal Trumbo for pitching and splash yet again. No, it doesn't make sense. Make it rain, Arte.
Chicago White Sox: Paul Konerko is gone, Jose Daniel Abreu is on his way in, but Adam Dunn is still there. I wouldn't be surprised to see them try to move Dunn this offseason, but it would be a marginal upgrade at best.
Cleveland Indians: Swisher and Giambi are there for 1B/DH, but Yan Gomes probably earned enough 2014 at-bats this season to merit primary consideration for DH. The price seems too rich for what would be a small upgrade.
These might actually happen
Texas Rangers: Berkman's gone, Moreland didn't have a very good year, and Cruz could be departing as well. They're still in win-now mode, and they have the cash to get it done. If Cruz leaves, that offense starts to look very ordinary. One of the better fits for Morales.
Baltimore Orioles: The Orioles had garbage production from the DH spot this year, and were so desperate to fill it that they traded a for a hurt Mike Morse well past the deadline. There's little chance they turn back to Nolan Reimold after his 2013 - they're also in a win-now window.
New York Yankees: No first baseman, no DH. A free spending team with payroll/luxury tax considerations, but an obvious need. They might be more willing to go for Morales if Granderson walks. They need a bat desperately.
The obvious match
This team doesn't have to give up a draft pick, has all of the leverage, and has a recently vacated hole at DH.
wait
no, don't
he's not worth that, don't offer it
nobody else is bidding against you, stop increasing it