| Dustin Ackley, 2B | Coco Crisp, CF | |
| Franklin Gutierrez, CF | Seth Smith, DH | |
| Kyle Seager, 3B | Josh Reddick, RF | |
| John Jaso, C | Yoenis Cespedes, LF | |
| Michael Saunders, LF | Brandon Moss, 1B | |
| Justin Smoak, 1B | Josh Donaldson, 3B | |
| Eric Thames, RF | Stephen Drew, SS | |
| Luis Jimenez, DH | George Kottaras, C | |
| Brendan Ryan, SS | Cliff Pennington, 2B |
Cliff Pennington is 28, meaning he's more or less my age. His name is Cliff, or, more accurately, Clifton. They don't make people my age named Cliff or Clifton. I'm pretty sure if you try you get thrown in jail. What an unusual specimen he is in this day and age.