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Mariners Lose Despite Offensive Outburst

this is how you score runs
this is how you score runs

There are a few different ways that one can attempt to treat depression or anxiety, which are very closely related. If you're looking to bypass medication and just talk it out, one of the major keys is learning to recognize when you're slipping into a trouble zone, or when you're already there. Oftentimes these triggers and signs go largely unnoticed, and you end up in a miserable place. By increasing your awareness, you might be able to prevent future slides, or in the event of a slide, you might be able to manage it better than you would otherwise.

Which isn't to suggest that people are depressed about the Seattle Mariners right now. I mean actually feeling depressed. If you're feeling depressed on account of the Mariners' slump, you're doing sports wrong. But there are symptoms in common. You might be finding yourself a lot less interested in the Mariners. You might be finding yourself unusually pessimistic about the Mariners, declaring that it's shitty and assuming that it's going to remain shitty. If you find yourself watching a Mariners game, you might not pay much attention.

But it's important to understand where those thoughts and feelings are coming from. Everything feels miserable because the Mariners can't score and keep losing. Justifiable reasons for a fan to feel miserable, sure, but a week ago, literally just one week ago, it wasn't like this at all. I got emails telling me these Mariners were the most fun Mariners people had seen in years. People loved these Mariners and figured they were on the way to big things.

The Mariners are causing you to feel bad, which is causing you to feel bad about the Mariners. Too bad, relative to how you ought to feel. A week ago, we were probably feeling too good, but that's less of a problem. You might think that the way you feel now is the way you really feel, deep inside, but that probably isn't true. The Mariners are better than this slump, so your opinions of the Mariners are better than they are in this slump.

With that said, this slump. Just because the negative feelings might be a wee bit exaggerated on account of all the consecutive losses doesn't mean the negative feelings aren't still valid. That is the way that you feel, after all, and if you're like me your feeling tonight was one of almost complete disinterest once the Giants went ahead. No faith in the Mariners to come back, and no answer to the question you ask yourself about why you're watching. Fans of just about every team probably feel like this from time to time, but this feeling is so familiar to us that it probably ought to be named in our honor. This is the feeling of thinking about how many games there are left in the season, and sighing. 96, by the way. The answer is 96 more baseball games left in the season. We are through just over 40 percent of the season.

I don't know how many Mariners it takes to change a light bulb, but I guess the answer is "more than we've got," because the lights went out on this offense and now everyone's swinging in the dark. You can't even blame it on running into good pitching. I mean, you can in part, since Ryan Vogelsong and Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw, but the Mariners just got swept by the Padres, and if there's one thing the Padres don't have, it's quality Major League baseball players. We're back in that place now where we're reluctant to tip our figurative caps to the other pitcher because the other pitcher was facing the Mariners and that's like a black bear facing a lady bug. I don't know why a black bear would kill a lady bug, but I don't know why an opposing pitcher would kill the Mariners' offense instead of taking it home and trying to nurse it back to health. Stop picking on this offense. Pitchers are mean.

The Mariners lost to the Giants 4-2. It was at one point 4-0, and it felt over, and it was at one point 2-0, and it felt over. I was excited about welcoming the Giants back to Safeco, because I thought I'd feel a little more energy about these games than most, but so far, nope, this might as well have been against the A's. The early innings were dull. The middle innings were dull. The later innings looked a lot like several games of Bejeweled. I set a new high score. At least something got accomplished.

Is it the game you want to read about? If it is, I don't know why. You've already spent so much time with this baseball game over the past few years that you've moved in together and you're sharing a toothbrush. It's not that you love each other, but you just wound up getting comfortable with each other and things progressed without either side ever being like, hey, whoa, wait a minute. You figure now you understand this baseball game better than you do other baseball games. The baseball game feels understood. This is a loveless relationship, with each partner too committed to cheat. Why would you want to read about the game? You've already long since gotten used to it.

Tomorrow's got Tim Lincecum, and that's interesting, because that's different. Different is interesting, for a time. But it could end up just the same. It's not about the heat of the spark. It's whether the tinder ignites.

I do have some bullet holes anyway, but they mostly don't have anything to do with the gameplay. You are thankful because the gameplay was poor. I am skipping over the usually obligatory starting pitcher bullet hole because you already know exactly how Jason Vargas pitched. You might not think you do, because maybe you weren't even following the game, but you know in your heart. Listen to your heart, because it knows best, about Jason Vargas.

  • In the top of the second inning, the Giants' awesome young catcher blasted a home run to the upper deck in left field. In the bottom of the second inning, the Mariners' potentially awesome young potential catcher ripped a double, which was fine. What was not fine was Jesus Montero again straying too far from second base on a subsequent fly ball. Once again, Michael Saunders hit a ball hard at a guy with Montero on second, and once again, Montero was doubled off. I understand that Montero wants to get a head start on scoring since the Mariners need to score and since he has the foot speed of a newspaper on the driveway, but with Montero I think people will accept slow before they accept carelessly aggressive. Better that Montero always just play it cautious. If that means sometimes it costs him 90 feet, that's okay, because probably no one would've expected him to get those 90 feet to begin with.

  • With two on and one out in the fourth, Justin Smoak bounced into an inning-ending double play in which the neighborhood play was in effect at second base. Joaquin Arias didn't have his foot on the base when he caught the ball and threw to Brandon Belt, but he got the call anyway, much to Eric Wedge's chagrin. The neighborhood play is one of those things we've all just come to accept, but that we couldn't support against a line of questioning from a child trying to learn.

    Child: But he wasn't on the base.
    Adult: Yes, but he gets the call.
    Child: Why?
    Adult: Because of the neighborhood play.
    Child: Why?
    Adult: Because that's how it's always been.
    Child: Why?
    Adult: Because of safety reasons, I guess.
    Child: Why?
    Adult: Because the runner could hurt the infielder, so the rules are different.
    Child: Why?
    Adult: Because you have to be flexible to protect the players.
    Child: Why?
    Adult: All right listen up shithead

  • At one point, on behalf of ROOT Sports, Dave Sims welcomed Bend Broadband subscribers watching on TV in Bend, Oregon. ROOT Sports then flashed a graphic on the screen showing Bend, Oregon on a map. "Welcome, Bend Broadband subscribers. This is where you are. So, you may stop watching now, if that's all you needed."

  • Blanco: /singles
    Theroit: /moves runner up
    Cabrera: /homers
    Theroit: Aww!
    Theroit: Well what'd you do that for?!
    Blanco: /high fives
    Cabrera: /high fives
    Theroit: I went to all that trouble!
    Rest of team: /high fives
    Theroit: I feel so unneeded
    Romo: /grows beard longer

  • ROOT Sports is also looking for die-hards - presently in Oregon - and Dave Sims asked viewers to "show us why you're the ultimate Mariners fan." The promotion was couched as a contest that viewers should want to win, but if any of you are potential applicants, I'm going to warn you, you're probably going to end up caged and studied.

  • In the ninth inning, there was a ball hit just foul down the first-base line. It veered toward the seats, and then a fan jumped out of the seats and into foul territory to snag the ball before anyone else. The fan got the ball, but then he was immediately tackled by security guards. From the bottom of the pile, the fan's arm was outstretched, gripping the baseball firmly, triumphantly. You can take away his freedom, and you can take away his baseball, but you can never take away his moment. That fan had a sensational moment, directly preceding moments of very different sensations.