Mariners Kick Indians Out, Invite White-Based Team to Visit

I am just all about the literal-minded, charged, headlines for these lately. Or perhaps I've just been reading about Lewis & Clark again. You decide. That's what you're going to do anyways, even if I said don't. You can't help it. See? You just decided something right now. I hope that it was how parmesan is the superior cheese to mozzarella (food reference ✓).

So, the Mariners followed my advice almost to the letter in the first two games. Eric Wedge used a left-heavy lineup on Tuesday and they erupted (volcano reference ✓) all over Justin Masteron and Jason Vargas was able to stroll past the Indians on Wednesday. And I was prescient about Josh Tomlin and the Mariners not drawing any walks on Thursday. That's some quality previewing there, Matthew. Thanks!

Fri 20 Apr 19:10
HECTOR NOESI	CHRIS SALE*

Chris Sale looks really good based on this chart, but a note of panic-reducing caution is that most of his time has been spent in relief so perhaps he will not be as effective in the rotation. I sure hope not. A lefty starter who can hit the upper 90s? He was more of a just a fastball-slider guy out of the bullpen, so it's worth paying attention to how often he uses his changeup, but over the course of one game, you're unlikely to notice it anyways.

Sale being left-handed also means no John Jaso, but I sure would love to see Casper Wells in left field, Chone Figgins at third, Alex Liddi at DH and Jesus Montero behind the plate. Given that Hector Noesi is starting and that he and Montero came up together in New York's system, I don't this it's far fetched that Montero serve as his primary catcher. So that just means Wedge needs to resist the temptation to make Miguel Olivo a DH again. Which... yeah.

Curse you, Dinger Machine! How have I displeased you?! I shall sacrifice another tuna in your glory oh multicolored one.

Sat 21 Apr 13:05
BLAKE BEAVAN	PHILIP HUMBER

Given that he's only made two starts and one of those was against the contact-challenged Texas Rangers, I thought that perhaps Blake Beavan might be looking especially spry in his pitching rates this early into 2012. But no, he looks like Blake Beavan. Strike rate last year: 67%, this year: 67%. Contact rate last year: 88%, this year: 88%. He has only the one walk, but he's hit a pair of guys. He's soooo who he always is. I think it's the lack in variation that makes him difficult to write about. Or really easy to write about actually since I could just copy and paste from every preview, but I feel an obligation to come up with something new each time. I don't know why. Would you notice? I shouldn't have written this. Now you'll notice!

Philip Humber is pretty good by the way.

Sun 22 Apr 13:10
KEVIN MILLWOOD	JOHN DANKS*

John Danks is pretty good too and another lefty. I hope the Mariners don't go into an off day Monday leaving a bitter, bad taste in our mouths. I want to say something positive about Millwood, so, um, nope. I got nothing. I have no more love to give today. Sorry, Kevin.

Series Beer: Trader Joe's Bavarian Hefeweizen.
It's not the classiest of micros. I don't think it even counts as a micro. I'm not even sure who makes it, since Gordon Biersch does the contract brewing for both Trader Joe's and Kirkland Signature if I have my facts right, but Gordon Biersch also has their own independent line and I've had those beers and the name-brand ones are better. So maybe it's a different recipe? It's not that much better. And that's part of the value equation and when you can grab the Trader Joe's 6-pack for $5.99, that's a nice bargain. Especially in the era where the $12.99 12-packs of local micros seem to be a thing of the past.

All of that is to say that this is a particularly decent beer, and a Bavarian-style hefe can be difficult to find otherwise in the Pacific Northwest and here's an option that happens to be easily found and also cheap. Trader Joe's also has the Mission St Hefeweizen (made by Firestone Walker), usually only in 22oz bottles. It's also good for the style, but is more American-style than Bavarian and thus belongs in a landfill, boozing up gulls or something.