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Seattle Mariners Prepare For Afternoon Full Of Jamie Moyer Old Jokes

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We're getting this out of the way now. At 1:05pm PDT, the Seattle Mariners play an exhibition game against the Colorado Rockies. Felix Hernandez is starting for the Mariners, and Jamie Moyer is starting for the Rockies. Felix Hernandez is 25 years old. Jamie Moyer is 49 years old. In November, Jamie Moyer will turn 50 years old, if he isn't dead. Jamie Moyer has already existed for more than 50 years in some form. Jamie Moyer is old! He is older than the jeans I am wearing. He is older than the glass of water next to my laptop. He is probably older than the glass holding the water, although I can't be certain.

This game is on TV, which would be a lot more exciting if the Mariners hadn't already had regular-season games broadcast on TV. But even though this is spring training, it's spring training with Felix and Moyer so it has that going for it. For the record, Jamie Moyer hasn't pitched a meaningful game against the Mariners since 1996. And he didn't face them in spring training with Philadelphia, soooo this'll be the Mariners' first game against Moyer since he dropped out of the mid-80s. In velocity, not years of age! Lol

A starting lineup for your consideration:

Figgins, LF
Ryan, SS
Ichiro, RF
Smoak, 1B
Montero, C
Wells, CF
Peguero, DH
Liddi, 3B
Kawasaki, 2B

It's not a bad idea to get Jesus Montero some innings behind the plate catching Felix. Maybe they'll bond with one another, and if Montero can catch Felix, he can catch anyone, except for a knuckleballer or Kyle Drabek. That's a joke about how Kyle Drabek just constantly throws balls, nothing but balls way out of the zone. Catching Felix is a hell of a challenge, but challenges allow a guy to get better. Jesus Montero won't develop as a catcher if he just crouches for Blake Beavan. An open equipment bag could catch for Blake Beavan.

Carlos Peguero's back in the lineup after feeling sick. There's vomiting, and then there's Carlos Peguero vomiting. We're talking knocked-down walls. Neighbors kept awake. Car alarms.

Starting, again, is Felix. How about a little velocity, Felix? Although it feels silly asking Felix to throw harder when he's starting against a guy who puts as much force into baseballs as Mr. Burns puts into bowling balls.