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Mariners To Make Mockery Of Cactus League vs. Padres

The San Diego Padres have been hanging out in Arizona for a long time. The Seattle Mariners had been hanging out in Arizona for a long time, too, but then they up and went to Japan. They stayed in Japan long enough to adjust to Japan, and then they left Japan for Arizona. They arrived in Arizona recently, and if you've ever taken a flight that long that sends you back in time, you know that it takes a little while to recover.

Eric Wedge is giving all of the players who went to Japan today to recover. I think they had a short workout, but they aren't playing against the Padres at 6:05. Which means that the players who are playing are - well here are the players who are playing:

Denny Almonte, CF
Daniel Carroll, LF
Brad Miller, SS
Rich Poythress, 1B
Stefen Romero, 2B
Mario Martinez, 3B
Joe Dunigan, DH
Jesus Sucre, C
James Jones, RF

Nothing against those players. All of those players are better players than I am, I think, probably, although I haven't thrown or swung a bat in a while so maybe I've improved. They're all individually very talented, and they could all individually run a baseball camp. But this takes spring training to the extreme. There are Mariners fans who bought tickets to this game. There are Padres fans who bought tickets to this game expecting to see talent on both sides. There will be talent on both sides, but not like those fans would've thought.

Of course, they should've considered the Mariners' travel matters before getting tickets. I've come around and now I think this lineup is incredible. There's zero downside! It's a complete mishmash of whoevers and they all get to represent the Seattle Mariners in a baseball game at the end of the month. These guys can have fun playing together. If they lose, they should lose. And if they win? The Padres won't want to be seen in public. So they'd play 81 games at Petco. lololololol

Here's the best part, definitely the best part - the man starting in front of those position players is Kevin Millwood. Millwood didn't go to Japan, because he didn't need to and he's been before, so he's rested. Now he'll throw to Jesus Sucre, and he'll toss pick-offs to Rich Poythress. He'll point at Brad Miller when there's a force at second. He'll watch Danny Almonte and Daniel Carroll converge on fly balls to the left-center gap. After good defensive plays, there will be high-fives exchanged coming off the field, and they'll be exchanged between Kevin Millwood and some of these guys.

Kevin Millwood signed with the Mariners on a minor-league contract. The Mariners are going to give him the whole experience.

In unrelated good news to close, Franklin Gutierrez says that he's ahead of schedule in his recovery. He's throwing, now, and he's been taking full swings without complications. He's still not particularly close to re-joining the Mariners, and you never know when there might be a setback, but so far it's been smooth. Pressure's on, Michael Saunders! Pressure's on! Perform! Perform right now! Perform the living shit out of yourself! Window's closing! Gotta get started!