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What We've Learned From The Larry Bernandez Commercials

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  • The Mariners did not have a Larry Bernandez in spring training, and Eric Wedge had no knowledge that any such player or person existed, hence his scoffing at Felix's disguise.

  • Felix has long known about Larry, because the disguise and the actual Larry look too similar to be a coincidence. What Felix did not know was that Wedge was unfamiliar with Larry, which proved to be his scheme's undoing.

  • Eric Wedge doesn't check who's pitching in spring training until somebody's actually standing on the mound.

  • Jerry is real, and occupies some role with the Mariners despite available footage suggesting that he's the worst pitcher of all time. This might explain why we have yet to see him in a game. He might be injured. The same could go for Larry, who also has yet to get any action.

  • The Mariners will let just anyone throw a spring training bullpen.

  • The Mariners acquired Larry Bernandez at some point during the season. We don't know why or when, although the fact that he has a taped-on B over the H on the back of his jersey strongly suggests that the deal happened quite recently.

  • Based on the spring training costume, and on the bobblehead interaction, Felix and Larry appear to be good friends. However, given that Felix took and hid Larry's bobblehead suggests that Felix is not above deception.

  • Larry's glasses do not allow him to see very well.

  • Felix, Larry and Jerry all wear #34, making them the first teammates with identical numbers since every Jackie Robinson Day.
     
  • Felix plays with dolls.

  • Jerry has a history of being a troublemaker.

  • Whoever occupies the locker a few down from Felix is messy and leaves loose baseballs everywhere. This might be how Larry and Jerry got hurt.

  • Larry did something to earn a bobblehead promotion that all of us missed. Maybe outstanding community service.