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Mariners Break Labor Laws, Add Youth

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The Mariners formally announced the signing of two international kids, RHP Victor Sanchez and OF Jose Leal, both of whom are 16-year-old Venezuelans.

The actual names are old hat and we heard about the Mariners being linked to them a month or more ago, but it is now official I guess instead of just "agreed to terms" which is good. "Agreed to terms" could have meant anything! We often assume it is terms of a contract, but what if it was terms of a debate between whether Darkwing Duck was superior to DuckTales? That would have been annoying to find out that the Mariners' international scouts were busy arguing with a Venezuelan about anthropomorphic ducks rather than doing their job of signing baseball players. I think that's what happened with Helsin Martinez.

Sanchez and Leal will be tossed on the respective burgeoning pitching and outfield piles despite insufficient training and protective gear and forgotten for years and years. I hope there's food in those piles because if they resorted to cannibalism that would be gross and also a tempting way to reduce the size of the pile. Come to think of it, nobody's seen Chris Smith in a while...