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One wonders if all the toxic fumes had a negative effect on performance
One wonders if all the toxic fumes had a negative effect on performance

I'm not going to sit here and write out a long recap, because it's late, and I'm not at home, and it's not like there's much of interest to recap anyway. But - man, I thought attending last year's home opener was a complete waste, but this was absolute misery as soon as the pregame festivities were over. I have literally never enjoyed a Mariners game in person less than I did tonight.

I will say that all the pregame stuff was superb, although Adam Moore played the part of Captain Bringdown when the scoreboard introduced him while he was standing on crutches. I don't know if anybody else noticed but Brendan Ryan ran out on the red carpet holding a little camera in his hand, which was cute. Felix, naturally, got raucous applause when he was introduced, but so did Pineda, which was nice to hear. And the whole Dave Niehaus tribute hit just the right note, as Macklemore was excellent, and Marilyn threw the best pitch from someone in a Mariners jersey all night.

Unfortunately, all pregame pageantry is by definition followed by a game, and the game itself was poop. You don't want to read about this game any more than I want to write about it. The only good thing about tonight's game was that the haste with which the Indians achieved a double-digit lead meant that the lines at the new Pen area were manageable by the fifth inning. It's probably a good thing the Mariners ditched that old What a show slogan.

And, of course, the Mariners didn't only get blown out in their home opener on Friday - news also broke that they have a situation with Jack Wilson, who may very well have played his final game in the uniform. Wilson's explanation for taking himself out of Wednesday's game is perfectly rational, but that kind of thing doesn't really fly in sports, and it isn't the first time Wilson's exhibited that sort of behavior, which really rubs teammates and coaches the wrong way. I'm not in a position where I can talk about this situation at length right now, but perhaps that's just as well, because I don't know how this is going to play out. In short, it's bad.

What a Friday to be a Mariners fan. Save us, Doug Fister. And somebody please hit a God damn home run.