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Mariners Make Two More Roster Cuts

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RIP
RIP

After a sudden roster ambush on Saturday morning caught everyone off guard and claimed the lives of six teammates, Sunday saw another assault, as guerrilla snipers gunned down two more as they scrambled for cover. The families have been notified, so after some delay, their identities have been made public. They are:

Yoervis Medina. Medina made one Cactus League appearance and was bad, and his body's been re-assigned to minor league camp and optioned to A-ball High Desert. Already the only Yoervis in the history of minor league baseball, Medina was looking to be the first in the bigs, but now that will require some sort of miracle.

Blake Beavan. Beavan was just resting his arm after his Saturday afternoon start when he got picked off. His Major League camp effort ends with seven innings thrown in three starts, and two walks to go with three strikeouts. The Mariners will still try to find a way to get him to improve on his changeup.

56 remain, and those at the bottom of the pile are finally breathing fresh air.