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Chone Figgins Moving Back To Third Base

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This will come as a surprise to absolutely no one, now that Jose Lopez is gone and there's no one else in the way, but via Kirby Arnold, we get some confirmation from the team that Chone Figgins is returning to his best position:

For weeks, it remained only an assumption because the team said nothing – until tonight. General manager Jack Zduriencik said the Mariners have asked Figgins to move back to third.

"We have talked to Chone about going back to third base and he’s well aware of it," Zduriencik said. "His response was, ‘Fine, I’ll do what is best for the club.’"

My favorite part isn't that Figgins agreed to a move. My favorite part is that, according to Z, Figgins begrudgingly agreed to a move. "Fine" is the most passive-aggressive word in the English language, and it's so transparently and incomparably passive-aggressive that there's not any hint of mystery when somebody says it.

Person 1: How are you?
Person 2: Fine. (<--- not fine)

Person 1: Would you do this?
Person 2: Fine. (<--- doesn't want to do this)

Notice how different these two responses look:

Person 1: Will you go to the store with me?
Person 2: Fine, I will go to the store with you.

Person 1: Will you go to the store with me?
Person 2: Yes, I will go to the store with you.

"Fine" is a shitty word, used by people when they want to be shitty. There is no way to begin a response to a question with "fine" and not come off like a lil bitch. We can't say with absolute certainty that Figgins actually used the word "fine", since we're getting a recollection of his words from someone else, but even if he didn't say "fine", he said something with a word choice and tone such that Z found "fine" to be a fitting substitute. So he was being a lil bitch either way.

But the good news is that the switch is happening, and for as uncertain as many of us are about the advanced defensive metrics, I don't think there's any denying that Figgins is a lot more comfortable - and a lot more effective - at third base than he is at second. Is he going to be the +17 defender that UZR alleges he was in 2009? I wouldn't count on that. But I would count on him looking a lot better this time around, and hopefully getting back to a position of comfort will allow him to pull up his batting numbers as well. I don't know how strong a relationship there is between the two, if there's one at all, but sometimes a man's gotta grasp.