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44-71, Game Thoughts

I love a lot of things about weekday matinees. I love being able to watch the Mariners over breakfast or lunch. I love being able to watch the Mariners in a state of mental clarity I no longer possess come nine or ten o'clock. I love that they're different, and that just by being unusual they're easier to enjoy. Additionally, of course, I love that they're over in plenty of time for me to actually make plans for the evening guilt-free if I want.

And another thing I love about certain day games like this one is that, as soon as they're over, I can pretend they never happened.

This game was totally stupid so here are bullet points in 25 words or less.

  • Googling "25 words or less" yields 88,400 results. Googling "25 words or fewer" yields 71,600 results. The world is as stupid as this game. (Ed. note: swing and a miss)

  • Without that slider, Luke French absolutely has to throw strikes to have any success. He didn't throw strikes today, and so he sucked.

  • Daren Brown doesn't get what this team is like quite yet, but today's game gave him a taste. Get ready, Daren Brown.

  • The Mariner highlight of the game was Franklin Gutierrez slamming into the wall making a catch on the first play, which tells you everything.

  • Ph_407885_medium

    ooh I'm so mad at you

  • When Felix Hernandez misses bats, it's because of Felix. When Luke French misses bats, it's because of the hitter.

  • Losing to Dallas Braden is like getting shat on by the loud annoying crow in the tree by your bedroom.

  • The Mariners are now on pace for 521 runs. Last time they were on a lower pace: May 8th (508).

  • Matt Tuiasosopo is a left fielder like I am a leather saddle with stirrups from Gladiator.

  • Based on his picks and double plays, Casey Kotchman will retire to a career as an infield coach.

  • Kurt Suzuki is the perfect A, in that he's kind of good and easy to ignore.

  • A game with today's Mariner players makes me so ready for the season to end.

  • Off to Cleveland, for a series that will in no way be a waste of everyone's time.