I love a lot of things about weekday matinees. I love being able to watch the Mariners over breakfast or lunch. I love being able to watch the Mariners in a state of mental clarity I no longer possess come nine or ten o'clock. I love that they're different, and that just by being unusual they're easier to enjoy. Additionally, of course, I love that they're over in plenty of time for me to actually make plans for the evening guilt-free if I want.
And another thing I love about certain day games like this one is that, as soon as they're over, I can pretend they never happened.
This game was totally stupid so here are bullet points in 25 words or less.
Googling "25 words or less" yields 88,400 results. Googling "25 words or fewer" yields 71,600 results. The world is as stupid as this game.(Ed. note: swing and a miss)
- Without that slider, Luke French absolutely has to throw strikes to have any success. He didn't throw strikes today, and so he sucked.
- Daren Brown doesn't get what this team is like quite yet, but today's game gave him a taste. Get ready, Daren Brown.
- The Mariner highlight of the game was Franklin Gutierrez slamming into the wall making a catch on the first play, which tells you everything.
ooh I'm so mad at you
- When Felix Hernandez misses bats, it's because of Felix. When Luke French misses bats, it's because of the hitter.
- Losing to Dallas Braden is like getting shat on by the loud annoying crow in the tree by your bedroom.
- The Mariners are now on pace for 521 runs. Last time they were on a lower pace: May 8th (508).
- Matt Tuiasosopo is a left fielder like I am a leather saddle with stirrups from Gladiator.
- Based on his picks and double plays, Casey Kotchman will retire to a career as an infield coach.
- Kurt Suzuki is the perfect A, in that he's kind of good and easy to ignore.
- A game with today's Mariner players makes me so ready for the season to end.
- Off to Cleveland, for a series that will in no way be a waste of everyone's time.