Each team in the American League, followed by the player who hit that team's longest home run in 2010 (data courtesy of Hit Tracker Online):
| Anaheim | Bobby Abreu |
| Baltimore | Matt Wieters |
| Boston | David Ortiz |
| Chicago | Carlos Quentin |
| Cleveland | Shin-soo Choo |
| Detroit | Miguel Cabrera |
| Kansas City | Billy Butler |
| Minnesota | Jim Thome |
| New York | Curtis Granderson |
| Oakland | Jack Cust |
| Seattle | Eliezer Alfonzo |
| Tampa Bay | Evan Longoria |
| Texas | Josh Hamilton |
| Toronto | Edwin Encarnacion |
Pretty much everything about this damn team was humiliating.
It's not that Eliezer Alfonzo isn't strong. He clearly is, or else he wouldn't be here. But everybody else on that list is at least a somewhat worthwhile player. Alfonzo's just a journeyman who, like Chris Woodward and Guillermo Quiroz, most people need to be reminded actually played for the Mariners. Alfonzo showed up, homered in his first game, didn't in his next 12, and then went away. He meant absolutely nothing, and yet here he is, atop a leaderboard.
The Mariners weren't terrible because Eliezer Alfonzo hit their longest home run. But I feel like the fact that Eliezer Alfonzo hit their longest home run captures the spirit of the season pretty well.
(I promise that I'll quit reflecting on 2010 one of these days, but it's not my fault the Mariners haven't signed a minor league free agent in a week.)