Free agent starting pitcher Ian Snell is sitting at home when his phone rings
Snell: Hello?
Antonetti: Hey, Ian? Snell?
Snell: Yeah, this is Ian.
Antonetti: Hey Ian, Chris Antonetti. GM of the Indians.
Snell: Oh, hey
Snell: What's up?
Antonetti: Well hey, listen, I'm glad I caught you. I've been looking over our roster.
Snell: Yeah
Antonetti: I think we're going to have a vacancy in the starting rotation. We've got a hole, and that's something I want to fill as quickly as possible.
Snell: Okay
Antonetti: And I was thinking about all the guys, all the candidates to come in and fill the role, and your name came up.
Snell: Oh yeah?
Antonetti: Yeah. Is that something you're interested in? You looking to get back into a big league rotation?
Snell: For sure, for sure
Antonetti: Great, great!
Antonetti: That's just great. That's what I wanted to hear.
Antonetti: So hey, before we get going on our little chat then, would you mind confirming something for me?
Snell: That's no problem
Antonetti: Super. Can you confirm to me that you belong to one of the following groups:
Antonetti: American Indian
Antonetti: African-American
Antonetti: Asian
Antonetti: Pacific islander
Antonetti: Latino
Antonetti: Or female?
Snell:
Snell: Well
Snell: Well uh the second one
Antonetti: Great! Then we'll
Antonetti: Hold on just one second k?
Antonetti: (aside) what?
Antonetti: (aside) you sure?
Antonetti: (aside) well I'll be damned
Antonetti: Hey, Ian, you still there?
Snell: I'm still here
Antonetti: Well listen, I've just been informed that we don't actually have to do this for roster spots.
Snell: Do what
Antonetti: Yeah...
Antonetti: First year on the job!
Snell:
Antonetti: Heh
Antonetti: Well, hey, it's been great talking to you. Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it.
Snell: So am I on the team?
Snell:
Snell: