Holy shit.
It was 1-0 A's. I changed the channel for a few minutes to watch something on Mt. Everest. When I switched back, it was 7-0 A's. 7-0 A's, and it wasn't yet eight o'clock, the game not yet an hour old. What are you supposed to do with that? For the first few seconds after switching back, the score was partially obscured by that little gray box that says 'HDMI 2'. I though, hey, 3-0, all right.
Then the little gray box went away. 7-0. To be losing 7-0 that early on a Friday night is a hell of a way to make everyone check out, and even though I kept the TV on FSN for much of the rest of the game, I wasn't watching. To watch something implies some kind of activity. The game was on, and my eyes were pointed at the screen while my brain thought about quicksand and beets. Not at the same time, because that would be weird.
The worst part is that I feel like there's golden writing material in here somewhere. The Mariners just lost 9-0. It was their fourth-worst defeat of the year, and easily among the most unwatchable. And they pulled this off on Fan Appreciation Night at Safeco Field, of all things. That's perfect. I feel like I should be able to do a lot with that.
But I can't, because the Mariners' effort tonight deadened my brain to the point where I feel like the best joke I can make is just leaving the setup as is. I can't come up with an extension or a punchline that takes the humor to another level. That feels like a failure.
Who knows, though. Maybe that really is the best joke one can make. Losing 9-0 to the A's on Fan Appreciation Night is funny in a self-evident kind of way. It's possible the setup doesn't need any help.
I'm not sure, but I'm going to take my chances, because it's Friday night, and this game just isn't worth any real mental strain. Way to go, Mariners. Sometimes I don't think you appreciate us enough.