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55-51, Game Summary

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I hate sloppy nine-inning games that take way longer than they ought to, so in protest here's my quick but descriptive summary in 50 words or less.

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Ichiro (7) RRS? uh oh RRS :( Beltre too shoulder OK? Lopez is all right Griffey death rattle Yuni hustle Yuni heads-up wizzle wozzle Branyan BABIP double Gordon/Butler no Web Gem why now Yuni why us Branyan BABIP single D’ohjima Aardsma? Aardsma?? ICHIRO!