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Thoughts On A Picture

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  • Much like Bigfoot, Chris Shelton is both easily identifiable and best viewed from a distance.

  • Chris Shelton was supposed to be in focus, but the camera resisted.

  • This is the picture Chris Shelton's mom has framed on the mantle.

  • Chris Shelton's better side is neither his left nor his right, but twenty paces.

  • When he isn't wearing a hat, Chris Shelton looks like someone put furry red handcuffs around a fish.

  • NOW YOU SEE, CARLOS. NOW YOU SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE

  • According to the penal definition, whereby a criminal becomes remorseful over learning that his actions had real consequences on real people, Carlos Silva has been rehabilitated.

  • Franklin Gutierrez has a look of smug but indifferent resignation, like he's sitting there thinking "well whatever I did my part." Which is probably true. Life's hard when you're that much better than pretty much everyone around you. Just ask Adrian Gonzalez, or Babe.

  • Notice that Silva has about six feet of empty bench space on either side of him.