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Why Sign Your Own Artifact Of Nostalgia When You Can Sign Someone Else's?

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Alternate title: Mariners sign Mike Sweeney to a minor league contract.

You'll remember Sweeney for being that awesome Royal first baseman who could never stay healthy. You'll also remember him for hitting 83 home runs in 2003. In his prime, Sweeney was an excellent bat who walked more than he struck out and who also knew his way around the bag. His career, however, was derailed by injuries, and over the past three partial seasons he's put up a total line of just .265/.331/.414, with 17 home runs in 608 ABs. Put simply, he hasn't been good for a long time, and I don't expect him to suddenly flip out with a mental age of 35 and a physical age of 80. That said, he says he's healthy, the DH spot is open, and the team didn't have to make any kind of commitment to bring him in, so what the hell, I guess there's no harm in finding out if there's any air left in his lungs. NRIs are only bad when they're Aaron Sele.

I'm so thankful Edgar didn't have to resort to anything like this.

edit: I don't care if Matthew already posted about this. I'm stubborn.