I like to think that this is the universe's way of telling us that we've all been bad people who deserve nothing but anguish and misery and crippling, debilitating boredom. All those hours you spent slacking off at work? All those times you screened calls from your mother? All those tickets you bought for a special advance showing of Disaster Movie? Now you have no choice but to pay dearly for your indiscretion. Just remember, you did this to yourself.
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