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Seems I'm in a bit of a conundrum. On the one hand, I'm missing tomorrow and I start to feel guilty if I don't have anything to say two days in a row. On the other, this was an easy game in Oakland with the A's broadcasters on, and not even Jonathan Lee Riches could find a way to make such an experience sound interesting. I'm not being hyperbolic. I like to think that, most of the time, I'm pretty good about finding little things to talk about during even the dullest of games. But there's just something about McAfee Coliseum and FSN Bay Area that sucks the life out of me. Every last little bit. I don't have anything personal against the A's or the people who broadcast for them, but after a couple hours' worth of exposure I find myself just begging for the game to end so I can go find a more stimulating activity, like whittling chapstick into smaller pieces of chapstick, or filing things. And believe it or not, these aren't the greatest conditions for inspiring a writer's imagination.

So, because I don't have anything fresh, insightful, or creative to say, I'm just going to let it be. No sense trying to force it and overworking myself in the third week of the season. After all, players aren't the only people who have to pace themselves. The effort it would require to extract anything of value from this snoozer of a cakewalk would be better off preserved for a later date, when it has higher potential upside.

8-1 and over .500.

Yay Mariners.


Biggest Contribution: Carlos Silva, +23.5%
Biggest Suckfest: Ichiro, -4.9%
Most Important AB: Vidro single, +15.7%
Most Important Pitch: Brown triple, -5.4%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): +24.1%
Total Contribution by Hitters: +25.2%
Total Contribution by Opposition: +0.7%
(What is this chart?)

Just a few quick things:

  1.  Carlos Silva, over a limited sample of four starts: 29 IP, 115 BF, 11 K (9.6%), 6 BB (5.2%), 42% GB, 7% swinging strikes, 4.77 tRA, 4.89 tRA*. His fastball's also down about two miles per hour from where it was a season ago. I know we want to be all happy and smiles and high-fiving each other over his 2.79 ERA, but so far he hasn't pitched very well, with horrible strikeout numbers and the lowest groundball rate of his career. Carlos Silva, right now, is treading a thin line between moderately useful and complete disaster. Waiting until the end of his contract is gonna be like going on a six-hour road trip and knowing that you have to pee after 20 minutes. If he makes it through 2011 without all of us hating him, it'll be nothing shy of a miracle.
  2. I know we've talked a lot about Raul Ibanez's defense, but Raul Ibanez is bad at defense.
  3. John McLaren used the ninth inning to give Brandon Morrow a chance to re-gain his confidence. The good news: he threw strikes, six of his 14 pitches were offspeed, and he struck out Jack Cust swinging with a good fastball. The bad news: his heater was 94-95 instead of 97-98 and he gave up two pretty well-hit balls in play. That he used three different pitches in the inning is encouraging, though, and in the end I have far less to complain about than I thought I would following his first appearance.
  4. In 2007, the Mariners had three games in which they walked at least six times as a team. In 2008, they already have four.
  5. The Oakland lineup is just...really? Are you serious?
  6. In the third inning, Bob Geren replaced the left-handed Lenny DiNardo with the right-handed Kirk Saarloos. This is the entirety of the difference between the two pitchers.

The Dicktator takes the hill tomorrow night against the freest-swinging offense in baseball. Mike Scioscia would be wise to keep Vlad Guerrero pinned to the bench considering the odds of him snapping his back flailing at the knuckleball are approximately 140%. try to bat Vlad at least three times in the lineup.