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8/28: Open Game Thread

First Pitch: 7:05pm PDT

               

Willits LF Ichiro CF Cabrera SS Vidro DH Guerrero RF Guillen RF Anderson Reanimated Corpse Ibanez Reanimated Corpse Izturis 3B Beltre 3B Matthews CF Sexson 1B Morales 1B Johjima C Kendrick 2B Ballgame 2B Mathis C Betancourt SS ---------- ----------

Santana (5-12, 6.03)        Weaver (6-10, 5.51)

I'd like to put yesterday behind us as quickly as possible, so here's an absurdly early game thread, along with some examples of how to use the Mariners' favorite buzzword without sounding trite.

Physical Chemistry: Man, that Willie Ballgame sure is a catalyst for this team.

Biochemistry: I'm really worried that if Jose Guillen turns into a clubhouse cancer down the stretch, we won't be able to treat the problem quickly enough.

Analytical Chemistry: Jarrod Washburn falls apart around 90 pitches, and with a .689 OPS on the year, Richie Sexson can't hit righties to save his life. John McLaren needs to realize this last month.

Solid State Chemistry: It'd be nice if we could maybe substitute in some of the bench players a little more.

Coordination Chemistry: I guess Bavasi and McLaren think that adding Rick White to the bullpen will only make it bigger and stronger.

Organic Chemistry: The coaches couldn't have chosen a better time to reanimate Raul Ibanez's rotting corpse.

Inorganic Chemistry: I guess McLaren thinks that playing Jones or Broussard more often will lower the melting point of the team as a whole.

Theoretical Chemistry: That Richie Sexson sure is hot right now.

LET'S GO MARINERS!!